Cheyenne Frontier Days: Josh Turner and Alan Jackson
The last concert! I've made it out alive!
While we were still center stage and the seats were technically good, they were not as good as the previous night. There was no breeze and it was VERY hot, and we didn't have the height that we did, not being on the balcany. Still, this picture was taken with minimal zoom. That's Josh with the guitar - the bored looking gentleman to the right is the fiddle player.
That is a handsome man, right there.
Country derp.
None of these pictures got his teeth, which I am not only saddened by, but freaking amazed by. The man could use his teeth to guide Santa's sleigh. He could use them to whittle a crucifix. I could see them from where I was sitting, without a zoom on my camera.
Somewhere, a dentist is crying himself to sleep over the business he's not getting.
Mr. Jackson wandered onto stage forty minutes after Josh Turner was done, the longest intermission of the week. At least he had the decency to walk out with a beer in his hand.
I took roughly thirty pictures of his part of the concert, but I swear to God they're all just variations of this. He doesn't quite move around too much, and that hat is, I'm willing to bet, glued to his forehead.
I really liked the background he had for his concert. Four screens which showed either scenes from the music videos of his songs or people out in the Party Zone.
That guy on the left looks kind of young, right? WRONG. He looks young until you get within fifteen feet of him, otherwise known as his 'event horizon,' at which point he ages roughly ten years for every foot you get closer to him.
Taken during "Good Time." I know because I watched this video roughly thirty times trying to learn the dance.
Music
Here are some of Josh Turner's music videos. Watch a few of them and see if you can spot the pattern.
Despite the fact that each and every one of those songs talks about how so very much in love he is with you (oh, shut up. If you don't imagine that every song sung by the opposite sex is to you and every song by your sex is by you, you're brain damaged), in the video, he's never getting any (I could have included the video for "The Long Black Train," to add to my point, but really nobody is getting any in that one). He's always just kind of around, singing, while another couple falls in love and dances around. He's like this wayward God of love and sex that can spread lust just be being around, but is cursed to never find any love himself.
Wow, that sounded kind of sad, didn't it?
But wait, you say! What about "Your Man"? He's getting love all over the place in that video!
And indeed he is. With his wife.
Josh Turner is a very nice, very Christian man, who, while he loves to sing country music, and loves to sing love songs, wants to make something very clear to all the women out there:
He will not have sex with you.He is not kidding. He won't even pretend in a three minute video. Go lust after someone else. Actually, he takes that back. Go to church, jezebel.
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